Paintball!!!

Meet Brett, professional paintball killer.

Thats all of us, post war (were standing in the parking lot at Chabad of Irvine btw). Levi and I you already know. If you ever meet the other man in the picture - run for your life. Hes a cold hearted killer. I know he doesnt look it with that smile and all...but that just makes him more dangerous.

So heres the story. Sunday the 21st, We took the kids on a paintball trip to Camp Pendleton (training grounds for the USMC). Very cool fields, we had an awesome time. There was one hitch though. Brett.

Y'see, Brett has a little boy who was coming along on the trip. Seeing as how Brett plays pro paintball, Levi invited him to come along. BIG mistake. Biiiiig mistake. He took us apart. We walked off the field looking like a picasso painting. And once the killer had taken care of Levi and I, it was childs play for him (literally) to take out the 12 year olds...

I had my golden moment though. Levi sat out one round taking care of his bro (too much running, not enough drinking), and I single-handedly wiped out Bretts whole team, and then took out the man himself. Thats right, respect yo ;)!

Levi and I squared off with some one on one matches at the end of the day. 1st round we took each other out simultaneously, I painted up his side, and he took out my knee. 2nd round he took me out with a head shot. 3rd round I reciprocated with a paintball to his head...So we tied ;).

That picture to the right is the entrance to Camp Pendleton btw. Theres some really nice scenery there, and they have the helicopters all lined up like hundreds of metal insects. Lots of military types running around, and all during our games, we kept hearing real gunfire from over the hills...

Paintball is such a cool game :).

Shabbis Wit Matis

Matisyahu doing Havdalah. Photo compliments of Levi - as always ;)

Well that was fun :).

Thursday afternoon, Levi and I drove to the airport to pick up Matisyahu. He was spending Shabbos at the Tenenbaums, because the Rebbetzins cooking is spoken of in awed and hushed whispers by the entire music industry (and most of the film industry too :)).

What you dont believe me??? Well, he did also need to stay somewhere close to the Irvine Ampitheater so that he could make it to his concert on Motzaei Shabbos on time, thats true. Ok, fine. So he had more than one reason for coming ;).

So we chilled with him all the way from LAX to Levis house. Hes a nice guy, a little quiet, but nice. Hes got his Jewish values straight, ill give him that. All those people worried about Matis frying out can take a deep breath and relax. In his own words:

"I became frum to escape all that. In the life I lived, sex, drugs, all that stuff, none of it was considered bad. I'm not tempted by that stuff, because I saw it all. I dont ever want to go back."

Go Matis :)

On Shabbos he pretty much kept to himself. He did come down to our teen minyan though to daaven Musaf. Those kids had to pick their jaws up off the floor when he walked through the door ;). Levi wished he had a camera to capture some of their expressions - he says it would have almost been worth breaking Shabbos ;). (Note for the humor impaired - hes kidding)

Afterwards, the kids had a Q&A session with him. Then it was up for the traditional COI (Chabad of Irvine) kiddush. The rest of the day passed uneventfully, and straight after Maariv and Havdalah, a car was waiting to take Matisyahu to the "KROQ Weenie Roast," where he performed to the cheers of hundreds (I'm assuming, I wasnt there :)).

So to wrap it up - it was fun, he was cool, and I cant wait to make it to his next concert...after Sefirah ;)

Excelsior! 

This in no way reflects the views or opinions...blablabla

Yea, what he said. [for all my humor deprived visitors, "he" would be a reference to the title ;)]

Basically I just felt the need to cover myself from any legal ramifications - so I dont get embroiled in a political discussion here :). I refuse to talk politics on this blog. I still say that these time wasters are getting weirder and weirder, but this is a funny little one...

Thanks to Aybei for showing this to me :).

Israeli Fair Mivtzoim

 
So heres the story behind the picture:

Sunday, most of the Smicha program of LA went to a celebration of Israels independence so we could do mivtzoim... yea right ;).

We had some incredible stories - Levi did backflips for Tefillin, Aybei shouted that the sky was falling to attract attention (it worked :)), and I spent the day actually getting people to put on Tefillin (hehe kidding guys ;)). It was awesome fun and we accomplished alot.

The fair was pretty cool too. LOTS of food (which we couldnt eat) LOTS of music (which we couldnt listen to) LOTS of booths (which we didnt pay much attention to) and LOTS of rides (that we didnt go on). So all in all it was an incredible time (which we never had ;)).

Oh and about the picture, I dont get why youre all so puzzled. We became EMT's - Emergency Mivtzah Technicians :)! Hehe...

Excelsior! 

I Dunno WHAT to call this...

But I think it's called an integrated face. An online portrait with 'tude ;). These little time wasting things are definitely getting weirder and weirder... Anyway, here ya go. Enjoy :)!

Confucius Says...

Ahhhh the wisdom of the ages! Thought this might be good for a laugh or two...Enjoy :)!

Confucius say, man who run before bus get tired

Confucius say, man who run behind bus get exhausted

Confucius say, man who sleep in bed of nails is holy

Confucius say, man with big mouth beware of foot

Confucius say, man who eat too many prunes, get good run for money

Confucius say, cow with no legs, ground beef

Confucius say, man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy

Confucius say, man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants

Confucius say, butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders

Confucius say, man who live in glass house, should change in basement

Confucius say, man who shoot off mouth, must expect to lose face

Confucius say, man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient

Confucius say, man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion

Confucius say, house without bathroom is uncanny

Confucius say, man who throws dirt is losing ground

Confucius say, man who snort coke, get bubbles up nose

Confucius say, war not determine who right. War determine who left

Confucius say, two wrongs not make right, but two rights make U-turn

Confucius say, man with head on railroad track, listening for train to come, get splitting headache

Confucius say, man who sneeze without tissue take matter into own hands

Confucius say, man who drive like hell, bound to get there

Confucius say, man who sit on tack, get point

Confucius say, support bacteria - is only culture some people have

Confucius say, man who have last laugh, not get joke

Confucius say, man who fall in vat of molten glass, make spectacle of self

Confucius say, man who jump through screen door, strain self

Confucius say, man who push piano down mine shaft, likely to get A flat minor

Confucius say, man who put face in punchbowl, get punch in nose

What REALLY goes on during seder...:)

 
Levi wouldnt sit still, so Aybei took drastic measures...:)